Getting through challenges to win

I had just finished training at the gym today and I’ve been a bit slack with the whole training thing lately.  As some of you would have read, I’m going through a bit of life turmoil at the minute. It is getting better, but there’s been a few life changes just smacking me in the face all at the same time, which is pretty normal. As we know, you don’t get one life change. You get two or three or four all at once and then of course, it makes the minor things all that much more difficult to deal with. So, I’ve felt a little bit swamped, a little bit overwhelmed and it was getting on top of me and I lost a bit of motivation in all areas of life.

So that is a work in progress and I am seeing someone – a really great psychologist – and chatting to her. She’s been really helping me in all facets of my life. Business and mental health and just getting outside of my head a little bit.

So, I just wanted to give you an update on the young man who is in rehab or has a disability who comes to my gym, and I think I posted or did a livestream about him on Facebook probably about 12 months ago now. I actually got quite a bit teary while I was talking about him because he has so many challenges when he comes to the gym and trains with his father. I just thought “we all make these bullshit excuses about why we can’t train and we don’t feel like it” and whatever else and this guy is just here every single weekend in the morning and he’s just pushing away and pushing his body and everything is difficult for him, but he’s just there and he’s giving it a red hot go. So, it’s really really inspiring and I think it’s one of the main reasons why I became a personal trainer is because I want to make a difference in people’s lives and I want to help them be their best.

The personal trainer that trains him, he is just amazing and you can see on his face how proud he is of his client and the progress that he’s making and the difference that he’s making to that client. So, being a personal trainer doesn’t mean that you’re just training really really fit people or people who were once fit to be fitter. It’s actually people who are older Australians. That’s my specialty is people 50+ and woman 40+ as well, but it can also mean training clients who are in rehab who’ve had maybe a motorcycle accident or car accident or a work injury or something like that. Just seeing them improve and become better is just a really really rewarding experience and it just can’t really be put into words.

This young man has just come so far. He wasn’t really talking much 12 months ago. He wasn’t very verbal, but he’s actually speaking a lot more and he is doing a lot more. He was actually doing some shoulder presses by himself. He wasn’t having to be helped by the trainer. He was actually just smashing out some shoulder presses and he just is a lot stronger and a lot more coordinated and you can just tell that the rehab has been doing absolute wonders for him and that just makes me happy.

So, I didn’t cry today because I just feel really happy for him and it’s just an amazing thing and it just reinforces why I do what I do and also reinforces to not be such a baby (to myself) and just bloody get on with it. So, there are people in this world who have much much tougher challenges than what the average person has and he is proof that through hard work and consistency and effort, he’s winning. He’s absolutely killing it.

Everyone have a great Easter and I will be starting up some regular live streams over on my Facebook page. Please join me there.

 

Taming the overwhelm monster

Overwhelm is real and it manifests in all areas of life – work, relationships, health.

When I had previously tried to get myself healthy, I got caught up in short term thinking. “I need to get this weight off, I need to get it off NOW”…and so on. We all want the quick fix, am I right??

This led to me being completely overwhelmed and ‘stuck’ for years, and not taking action…because it was ‘easier’. The road from here to there just seemed too daunting.

When I changed my mindset, it literally changed my life.

I started being intentional about my goals and viewed it as a process and a journey. It hugely reduced my overwhelm and inspired me to take action to get to my destination.👍

Break it down into steps.
Suggestions:
– Prepare your meals the night before to take to work
– Get up 30 mins early and go for a power walk
– Take a 1.5 litre water bottle to work and aim to drink two per day

And of course, practice gratitude every day.
Simple, practical steps that will take you closer towards your goal without the overwhelm.👊

Staying the course

One of the most helpful things that you can do is to *stay the course.* You won’t see the progress that you want to see every week, but that is ok and truly normal- the human body just doesn’t work in the consistent, linear way in which we would prefer it to. If you don’t lose weight one week, you do not need to cut out sugar. You do not need to cut carbs. You do not need to stop eating fruit. You do not need to start intermittent fasting. You do not need to do any crazy, drastic things. You need to remember that you are doing the right things if you are being consistent and honest with your nutrition and your training, and you need to keep doing those things. This is why I also encourage the use of measurements and photos in addition to the scale.

How many times have you or someone you know had a great week with lots of hard work put in only to get on the scale, not see a change, and get so frustrated that you or he/she go to the kitchen and eat your/his/her frustration? Giving up like this is not uncommon- and then when that splurge throws off the next week due to the excess calories, progress may not be seen again- and then giving up *entirely* is not uncommon. 😖

Don’t let this be you. Be patient with yourself and with the whole process. Stay positive and stay motivated. You can do this!

If you do want more help, as a PT and health coach, I offer free consultations to help you get started but also ongoing coaching- I am here for you!

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PS – My number one trick for dropping a dress size in just 9 days – without surgery, stress or doing anything crazy!

Walking away from what doesn’t serve you

She walked away from a life of luxury. The travel, the jewellery, the lavish restaurants, the fancy cars, the gifts and the expensive wine.

At the same time she walked away from a narcissist who abused and manipulated her, emotionally and mentally. She escaped from a life where it was all about him. She was scared to death most of the time and felt unworthy all of the time.

She also walked away from a woman she couldn’t identify with anymore. A woman who had lost her spark, her passion, her zest for life, her shine and her happiness.

It took years of inner work to find her again. She was there, meekly hiding away with her face buried in her hands – flinching at every touch, feeling raw and exposed at every question “what is wrong with you?”. She needed to heal, to be alone, to find another way to channel her anger, her grief and her determination to once again be who she was.

She found fitness and health. The grind, the commitment and the discipline was exactly what she needed to work through her pain and prove to herself (and to him) that she would be better than the mantle he had given her.

It gave her back control and structure in a life that had become out of control and structured only to suit him.

It gave her back her self esteem and a feeling of mastery that she could be ‘good’ at something, when she had only ever felt bad at everything and that she was never ever enough.

She is me…

Walking away from people or situations that don’t serve you can be the best thing you’ll ever do. Life is too short to be unhappy, unfulfilled and controlled.

Let walking away open the door for new possibilities and opportunities, and for only good things to come into your life. Don’t let anyone dim your light – and when they show you who they are, believe them the first time.

 

3 Rules For Life

1. Get out of your comfort zone. If you want to get great at something, realise you are going to suck when you start. Repetition leads to success.

2. Challenge your assumptions so that you can discover your truths. You will find that you say no to many, many things in life to find the things that you will say yes to, to change your circumstance.

3. Make the little decisions with your head. Make the big decisions with your heart. It will never lead you wrong. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

This is 40…or is it?

I believed this is what 40 looks like.
I believed my best years were behind me.
I believed I couldn’t do it.
I believed everything everybody said about “oh as soon as you reach 40 you start putting on all this middle aged spread”

Until one day – the day I found fitness – I didn’t believe it anymore. I didn’t believe this as having to be my life and my norm.
The interesting thing for me was the mindset reframe of what’s actually possible. And so I threw off the chains of unworthiness, of being unloveable, of hiding – and set about becoming alive.

You don’t have to do what everybody else does or look how everybody else looks if thats not how you actually are.

Don’t play small. Know your worth. Remember who you are. Be seen and stand out.

My passion is coaching my clients to create lasting, real change that allows you to keep moving forwards – not only with your health, but with your mindset.

Reach out to me anytime for a chat about how I can help you live your best life.

Not looking after myself

This week has seen the return of my old enemy diverticulitis. Mr D snuck up on me on Monday. Just a niggle to begin with and I tried to ignore him, but he persisted and I succumbed spectacularly with fever, nausea and horrific pain. I’m now off work with antibiotics and pain relief and back on that merry-go-round of ill health.

I’m not surprised he made his presence known. I let him in. Throughout a stressful last few months – grief, moving house, financial pressure, job pressure – I was not looking after myself in the way I know prevents Mr D paying a visit. Not looking after myself in a way that keeps me healthy, lean, fit and full of energy. Not looking after myself in a way that helps me cope with stress from a place of health and strength.

I’ve forgotten how good fit and healthy feels. I’ve allowed myself to get lazy, get complacent and put foods in my body that I know are not good for me. I’ve forgotten how moving my body and lifting heavy makes me feel strong and invincible and is the best stress relief around. I’ve taken the easy path and forgotten how the discipline and commitment to being healthy is who I am. I’ve lost the real me.

I preach these values to my clients. That its not about a tight butt, having abs or muscly arms. That as we get older, its more important to eat well and train for health and vitality. To prevent lifestyle diseases, to maintain what we have for as long as we can and yes, to look and feel the best we can.

The truth is I am feeling old. Older than I have in a long time. My skin is starting to look dry. My eyes have lost some of their sparkle. My flexibility has diminished. I’ve gained a few kilos and my clothes feel tight. I’m not liking how I feel.

So the rot stops. Now. This moment. I’m getting back to walking my talk, practising what I preach and being the best version I know I can be. I can’t exercise at the moment while I’m unwell but I can start eating better. Remember it is all about what you CAN do in the now, rather than focusing on what you can’t do or waiting for the perfect time.

If you’d like some free easy tips on starting a healthy lifestyle, visit my website at http://www.deeverrall.com to download my free e-book.

 

Ive failed so many times…that is why I succeed

Over the years, I have failed at life. I have failed at relationships, I have failed in my career, I have failed at getting fit and losing weight. I have even failed at being a parent at times. It’s hard to believe I know (lol) but I don’t always have my shit together and live a carefree life. Far from it.

Now here’s the thing… no matter how many times you fail, how many times you fall down, how many times someone lets you down, disappoints you or doesn’t follow through, you learn, reassess, get back up and keep frigging going.

I truly believe you haven’t failed if you’ve learned something and grown inside. There is no such thing as a mistake, just wisdom and discovery.

You’ve only failed if you stop. You’re only unsuccessful if you give up. You only fall short if you cease to push.

The only reason I have succeeded is because I have failed. The lessons I’ve learned have spurred me to greater things and it is this failure that puts me in a unique position to teach others to succeed.

Embrace mistakes, learn from failure, kick your own butt and keep your eye on your goals.

Ps – do you know that you don’t have to kill your self with extreme exercise to transform your body? I cover this and more in my free webclass!

Progress is never linear

Most people think of progress towards their goal as steady and linear, moving forever in a forward direction. However progress does not look like this…and let me tell you that this can be a good thing.

Any progress is good progress. We make small decisions each day that bring us closer to our goals – choosing to eat well, forgoing the cake at morning tea, getting in all our workouts, making sure we are sleeping well and practicing self care. When things are going well like this, progress seems effortless. But…life happens! We get sick, we get busy, we make excuses, we drink a bit too much at the party, we eat too much of the wrong food – we are human! This means that sometimes our progress stalls or regresses – we’ve put on weight, we’ve plateaued in the gym, or the centimetres around our waist won’t budge.

Every regression, every plateau, is a moment of reflection on the journey to our goal, and ultimately to success. Look at these challenges as learning opportunities – if we learn something from them, then we are growing and we are still progressing! So you’ve been eating off plan for a couple of weeks without a care in the world and suddenly you’re a kilo heavier on the scales and your pants are feeling a bit tight around the waist. Instead of thinking “I’m not making progress”, get REAL with yourself and recognise why this has happened and get right back onto the horse and doing what you know WORKS. One foot in front of the other, keep going.

There’s an old saying “if it were easy, everybody would be doing it (and be walking around with a six pack!)”. Be one of the few who is realistic about progress, recognise that it is not linear, embrace doing the work, pick yourself back up time and again, correct your course and never quit.

Adventures of an optimist

I am a natural optimist, always seeing the glass as half full. I can find the silver lining in any situation and believe that everything happens for a reason, good or bad. However, there have been times in my life when I thought I could never be happy,  or be optimistic about the future again.

The first time that I felt like this was when my son was born nearly 19 years ago. I was in the grip of post natal depression and didn’t know it. Back in the day, there wasn’t as much support, awareness and resources as there are now.

My family did their absolute best to support me and my husband didn’t know how to support me. He went to work each day, leaving me stranded at home with no car and with a baby I had no connection to. Each day was a constant struggle with anxiety and sleep deprivation. I couldn’t sleep even when I had a few hours to myself – my mind just raced the whole time. My heart leaped into my mouth every time Darcy cried or grizzled. My hands shook when I picked him up and I also cried while I held him, not knowing what I was doing and just wishing I could run away or die. I used to just sit on a chair every single day – numb, fidgeting, heart racing, mind racing.  I felt out of control and a failure as a mother. I was in a dark tunnel with no light at the end.

When I finally sought help and was medicated, I gradually started to feel better, get my sleep back and stop crying. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight, and took a lot of self belief and determination that I was going to feel normal again. I finally fell in love with my son when he was three months old and miraculously, his sleep and his eating improved also. I regained my pleasure in everyday activities and loved life once more.

I was rocked to my very core during this time and it almost destroyed me. Even though my marriage broke up two years later, the experience scarred me so much that deep down I never wanted to have more children.

I was optimistic I would get better once I sought the right help from my doctor. I was optimistic that my family and friends would be there to support me. It taught me so much about myself and that no one is perfect. It taught me to stop trying to control every situation. I learned that PND is very common and that I wasn’t alone. I learned that out of overwhelming fear and loss, comes a love for your child that is so deep and so strong that it’s like your very soul is connected to theirs.

Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time I had brushes with depression. Before I found fitness, I had at least two more serious episodes in my life requiring medication and counselling. Although the medication worked well and gave me my life back, I gained quite a bit of weight and found it very hard to shift. This is one of the main reasons I never want to be on medication again.

I credit fitness with improving my life in so many ways, but improving my mental health has to be up there as one of the top benefits. In the last five years or so since I became serious with my fitness and got consistent with it, I have successfully kept the black dog at bay. The only times I’ve threatened to sink back into the fog is when I’ve been unable to train due to serious illness (a story for another blog!) or surgery. I have felt the hopelessness start to nibble at the edges of my mind and the lethargy begin to seep in. I don’t ever want to feel like that again. As I say, this is one of my key motivators to stay active and fit. The struggle and the ‘hard’ of training day in, day out – being tired, being sore, being consistent no matter what – is a walk in the park compared to the struggle and the hard of depression.

If anything in this blog has triggered you, please speak to a loved one, visit http://www.beyondblue.org.au or call Lifeline on 13 11 14